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RockGolf 
"1500+ reviews. 1 joke."
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 Posted - 07/08/2009 : 22:06:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe Blevins
SIDE NOTE: When you think of the film editing process, you might imagine directors asking that brutal age-old question, "Do we really NEED this scene?" Low-budget horror movie directors do not ask this question, I can assure you. Anything that comes back from the processing lab goes directly into the final print, up to and including uneventful footage of people simply driving or walking from place to place. Let's say you're a horror director, and your plot calls for the Sheriff to interview the family of a victim. You're going to want to get plenty of footage of the Sheriff: getting into his car and starting the engine, carefully merging into traffic, driving to the house, parking in front of the house, walking from his squad car to the house, etc. That's how you get a film to feature length. Leave absolutely nothing to the audience's imagination.
This reminds me of Umberto Eco's definition of pornography.
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 01:46:16
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quote:
Originally posted by randall
That statement reminded me of a book I edited which you, Joe, *must read*. It's by a guy who decided to see a movie a day for a year. That simple, and that difficult. But wait till you see what he came up with!
If you remember the TV series MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, he played "Tom Servo." His name is Kevin Murphy, and this is his book. I think it will particularly resound for you, based on this most excellent thread.
Hmmmm. I may have to read Murphy's book when I'm through with this thread, just to see how Tom Servo dealt with a movie-watching endurance test. I have to say, getting through 50 Chilling Classics is a lot like watching a Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon minus the commentary.
Weirdly, it seems Murphy went to a real movie theater every day to see his films, while my project has largely kept me away from theaters. At the outset of this, I thought I might try to avoid "outside" movies entirely, but I couldn't do it. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 01:48:46
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quote:
Originally posted by demonic
And don't forget http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com/ - not just one mainstream release a day for a year for this guy... he's been watching only horror films every day for the past three years... 
Holy cats! Only horror flicks for three years? I've only been at this for a month, and I've already seen countless variations on the same basic themes. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 01:54:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Ro�k G01f, MD+
quote:
Originally posted by Joe Blevins
Hollywood has churned out scare flicks about transplanted brains, eyes, heads, and even one -- The Amazing Transplant -- about a transplanted male member.
That sounds like the same plot as Percy which was advertised as "The story of a very... personal transplant". Even as a 14-year-old back in tha day, I could figure out what they meant in the ads.
Percy, eh? That must be a British slang term for the male organ. The only other place I've heard it is in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in Eric Idle's song from the Mr. Creosote sketch. But who'd have thought there were TWO movies about that particular subject? And if there's two, I'm guessing there are at least half a dozen more out there somewhere. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 01:59:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Ro�k G01f, MD+
This reminds me of Umberto Eco's definition of pornography.
Thanks for the link to a funny and insightful article. It's kind of depressing how many parallels there are between bad horror and pornography -- with the scare scenes occurring at regular intervals just like the sex scenes in a porno. I suppose Eco has a point about the boring footage supplying a necessary backdrop of normalcy. I just wish I didn't have to sit through so much of it. I must've witnessed several hours worth of phones being dialed, planes landing, people getting on and off elevators, etc. |
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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 02:16:14
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe Blevins
Percy, eh? That must be a British slang term for the male organ.
Yup! But it mostly figures in a common euphemism for taking a piss = pointing Percy at the porcelain!
BTW, Joe - I'm in awe of your chilling project -- really enjoying reading your reports, which I'm increasingly convinced is far more entertaining than seeing the films themselves.
I wonder if you've heard of Invasion of the Blood Farmers? It was written by my former colleague Ed Kelleher who was Associate Editor of Film Journal International and a great friend when I was London Editor of the FJI. Sadly he died a few years ago of early onset Alzheimer's. It was really difficult squaring up the gross gore of his scripts with the soft-spoken, almost shy man with a terrific sense of humor. Anyway Blood Farmers is certainly worth a peek - if you can ever bear to see another of the genre.
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 02:30:11
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Creeping towards that elusive top 10 (by way of Canada):
39. Funeral Home
After seeing a film as audacious as Devil Times Five, it was a little disheartening to sit through an utter mediocrity like Funeral Home. Why is this thing turning up so late in the game? I've already seen at least a dozen stronger, more inventive pictures in this same collection! In this one, yet another pretty but naive young lady returns to yet another creepy and remote family home -- in this case, a former funeral home which now serves as a bed-and-breakfast. The place is run by the girl's tough old Grandma, who won't talk about what happened to Grandpa. Soon, guests start disappearing. And what's going on down in the cellar, anyway? This is all pretty standard hokum. I kept waiting for the big absurd plot twist to come, and when it finally did (very late in the game) I was intially excited until I realized it was a blatant rip-off of... well, I won't spoil it, but let's just say A Big Famous Movie That Pretty Much Everyone Has Seen. Ultimately, the only thing that distinguishes this movie is the fact that many of the actors and actresses speak with thick, McKenzie-esque "Canuck" accents. ("Where have you BEAN?" "I don't know what you're talking A-BOOT!")
I sometimes get impatient with Hollywood movies (mainly romantic comedies and "inspirational" dramas) that over-romanticize small towns, depicting them as quaint, charming places full of loveable, wise eccentrics. I guess those movies exist to balance out horror films like Funeral Home, where small towns are havens for ignorant, unkempt geeks and the local law officers are so incompetent and lazy they barely try to investigate a series of mysterious disapperances. I've lived in a couple of small towns, and I can say that neither of these depictions is accurate.
Oh, hell, one last observation: this project has introduced me to horror cliches of which I was previously unaware. Of course, there is the tradition of crippled or deformed servant characters in horror films. In more recent decades, though, there has been a variation on this character: the slow-witted, childlike handyman who talks like Lenny from Of Mice and Men. At least THREE of the Chilling Classics have featured scenes in which a mean-spirited, vampy lady cruelly pretends to seduce the confused handyman, always with ulterior motives. These scenes always play out the same way, with dialogue such as: "You like me, don't you? Would you like to touch me? Would you like to make love to me?" This cruel seduction game always, always spells death -- for both the vampy lady and the handyman.
P.S. - Alison Bechdel's Fun Home is a funny, sad, and humane graphic memoir (i.e. autobiography in comic book form) that also deals with a funeral home. You could probably read it in the time it takes to watch Funeral Home.
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Edited by - Joe Blevins on 07/09/2009 02:45:03 |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/09/2009 : 18:32:35
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quote:
Originally posted by BaftaBabe
quote:
Originally posted by Joe Blevins
Percy, eh? That must be a British slang term for the male organ.
Yup! But it mostly figures in a common euphemism for taking a piss = pointing Percy at the porcelain!
BTW, Joe - I'm in awe of your chilling project -- really enjoying reading your reports, which I'm increasingly convinced is far more entertaining than seeing the films themselves.
I wonder if you've heard of Invasion of the Blood Farmers? It was written by my former colleague Ed Kelleher who was Associate Editor of Film Journal International and a great friend when I was London Editor of the FJI. Sadly he died a few years ago of early onset Alzheimer's. It was really difficult squaring up the gross gore of his scripts with the soft-spoken, almost shy man with a terrific sense of humor. Anyway Blood Farmers is certainly worth a peek - if you can ever bear to see another of the genre.
I am as yet unfamiliar with Blood Farmers, but I would not be opposed to seeing it should the opportunity arise. I'm nowhere near done with the horror genre... or any genre, really. Glad you're enjoying the ongoing reports, BTW. The movies are really a mixed bag: some are highly entertaining, but many are rather painful to sit through. At the end of this, I think I'll give my own rankings of which ones are worth watching and which aren't. Overall, the Chilling Classics set is recommended. |
Edited by - Joe Blevins on 07/09/2009 23:37:48 |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/10/2009 : 03:45:56
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Plunging back into the abyss (or the Percy Bysshe):
40. Gothic
Gothic is a Ken Russell film. Once you've said that, you've said a mouthful.
Look, I can understand the rap against Ken Russell. His films are pretentious, incoherent, chauvanist, and gratuitiously violent. Russell's treatment of sex is often leering and juvenile, and he seems to go out of his way assault the viewer with an onslaught of random and garish images without benefit of good taste or good sense. He offends simply to offend. All of these things are true. And, yet, sometimes -- when I'm in just the right mood -- I find myself enormously entertained by Russell's flicks and kind of awed by the amount of detail that goes into them. At their best, Russell's movies can be decadent feasts of image and sound. One can easily scoff at Tommy or Lisztomania, but it's much more fun to revel in the absolutely bat-shit insane stuff which is happening at any given moment in them. Where else but in a Russell film are you going to ever see this kind of nonsense? Who would ever finance it?
Gothic is a highly fictionalized account of the fateful evening which inspired Mary Shelley (then still known as Mary Godwin) to write Frankenstein. She and Percy Bysshe Shelley spend a wild night at the estate of Lord Byron, along with her stepsister Claire and the sinister Dr. Polidori. (Read all about it.) Byron leads his guests in a seance, and pretty much the rest of the movie is devoted to the five main characters running around the house, acting crazy, hallucinating, and shouting absurd dialogue at each other while a storm rages outside. Depending on your interpretation of all this, you could argue that nothing actually happens in this movie whatsoever. It sort of plays like a more literary Rocky Horror, with Byron as Frank-N-Furter and the Shelleys as Brad and Janet. Unfortunately, Gothic isn't as fun as it should be and is hurt somewhat by its pace and overly talky script. Mill Creek Entertainment has done this flick no favors by presenting it in a cropped, hopelessly muddy VHS-to-DVD transfer. There's no way Russell would want his sumptuous film looking like typical cheap drive-in trash. Or maybe he would. Who knows? The guy's a complete wingnut.
P.S. - If you want to see the Russell formula gone terribly wrong, just try and sit through the director's awful segment of Trapped Ashes. (Here's a review.) In Gothic, Russell gives us breasts with eyes. In Trapped Ashes, it's breasts with mouths. What else is there? Noses? Ears?
P.P.S. - Gothic is probably the only film in this project to have been reviewed on the Siskel & Ebert TV show. Here's a clip of that. |
Edited by - Joe Blevins on 07/11/2009 08:06:40 |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/11/2009 : 08:02:04
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Kicking off the Top 10 in high style:
41. The Ghost
Scotland, 1910. A conniving woman and her lover scheme to kill off the woman's wealthy, wheelchair-bound husband, but soon find themselves haunted by the husband's ghost. This apparently simple set-up is actually the basis for an incredible series of double- and triple-crosses in this handsomely-made Italian gothic flick from 1963. Wow, was I unprepared for this one. It starts with yet another seance in yet another creepy mansion, and I was all set for a formulaic snoozefest. But not this one! It's inventively nasty and twisted all the way through, and the screen positively drips with blood (quite literally, at one point). Oh, sure, The Ghost has some flaws which keep it from attaining greatness. It's a shade overlong (did we really need all those close-ups of poison bottles?), and the dubbing is a little stiff in places. But overall this was a real corker -- one of the very few Chilling Classics which succeeds very nicely on its own terms.
The main attraction here is obvious: BARBARA STEELE, the grand dame of British and Italian B-horror. Somewhat like Yul Brynner in Death Rage, Steele is one of those extraordinary performers whose very presence constitutes a special effect. A good thing, too, because the effects budget for The Ghost appears to have been rather tight. (The flick is also noticeably skimpy on locations and supporting actors.) How to describe Steele in this movie? Imagine Joan Crawford meets Audrey Hepburn. Or Betty Boop meets Morticia Addams meets Liz Taylor meets Vivian Leigh. Her wide, expressive eyes -- accentuated by heavy eyebrows and extravagent lashes -- are perfect for registering shock and disgust, and this script gives her plenty of opportunities to do just that. It's just one damned thing after another in this flick, and Steele seems convincingly astonished by each new reversal of fortune. You can tell she's thinking, "Who knew killing would be such damned hard work?" Steele can be cruel, seductive, terrified, terrifying... you name it. I'd seen some of Steele's flicks before (and even own a couple), but The Ghost is the movie which has made me take notice of this remarkable actress.
The Ghost was a great start to the Top 10. I'm looking forward to seeing nine movies which are supposedly even better.
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Edited by - Joe Blevins on 07/11/2009 18:11:39 |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 01:59:53
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By far, my greatest challenge in this project:
42. A Bell From Hell
My saga of trying to watch A Bell From Hell, a dubbed Spanish horror flick from 1973, started innocently this morning. Throughout the course of this project, I've tried to see each movie under the best possible conditions. I unplug the phone and watch the movies from the vantage point of my nice comfy couch on a flatscreen TV. I also turn off the (noisy) A/C and keep some cold beverages on hand in case I get too warm. That was definitely my plan with Bell, too, but I soon ran into a problem. The dubbing on this film was very muddy and very faint, rendering the dialogue all but inaudible. A typical exchange early in the film went like this:
MAN #1: Why did you want to leave?
MAN #2: Glargle fluzz.*
My only hope of hearing what the actors were saying was to listen to the audio through headphones, but alas my headphones did not reach from the TV to the couch. I tried to sit on the floor and look up at the screen, but this proved uncomfortable and distracting. So I decided to move the whole operation to a smaller TV next to my bed. I soon discovered that this particular TV faced a window with bright sunlight streaming through the Venetian blinds, making it now impossible to see what was happening onscreen. In desperation, I actually climbed up on the furniture so I could hang some dark blankets and towels over the blinds in an effort to block out the sunlight. I flashed back to the movie Crumb and thought to myself, "Wait, isn't this what crazy recluses do to keep people from looking in? Good lord, what have I become?" This system actually sort of worked for a few minutes, but there was no way to keep the blankets up, and besides, by that time it was getting very warm in there. I temporarily gave up on Bell From Hell and went for a walk. (It's been a lovely day here, one of the few really nice days we've had during a rainy and cold year.) There's an office supply shop in my neighborhood, and I stopped in to see if they had extention cords for headphones. No luck.
After a lovely walk, I came back home, not knowing how I was going to get through this goddamnable movie. I ended up watching the entire thing on my laptop, which is a lousy way to see a flick, but at least I could both see and hear about 90% of what was going on. (The utter crumminess of the print and the transfer prevented me from seeing and hearing absolutely everything, but I think I got the gist of it.)
So, after all this, how was A Bell From Hell? I'm sorry to report that the first hour of this 90-minute movie is painfully slow and a bit self-consciously arty with mostly flat acting. A young, sorta-Harry-Hamlin-ish nutcase, John, gets out of a mental institution and immediately gets entangled in a war over inherited money and property with his grouchy old aunt, who has three lovely daughters. Perhaps tipping the scale in his favor, John's a devious trickster type with an arsenal of gadgets and disguises, not to mention a closet full of turtlenecks. (What is it with guys wearing turtlenecks in these films?) Anyhow, the flick actually starts getting good in its (relatively) action-packed final half hour, with some bizarre, kinky touches and a few Poe-like plot twists. And, yes, there is a bell involved... and it's one hell of a bell. I don't know if all this redeems the picture as a whole, though.
It turns out that this film's director, Claudio Guerin, actually died on the last day of shooting for this movie. Whether his death was an accident or suicide is unclear. It is perhaps this tragic incident which has given A Bell From Hell a mystique which it might not otherwise have.
* The headphones later revealed this line to be: "I've learned enough." |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 06:46:56
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A milestone of sorts, our first "6"-rated film (6.1, in fact):
43. Man in the Attic
Jack Palance as Jack the Ripper (maybe), and he's renting a room from Francis "Aunt Bee" Bavier? How could it go wrong? And, truthfully, it doesn't. What we've got here is good, old-fashioned 1950s moviemaking, somewhat reminiscent of the classic Universal films. This '53 flick is one of at least five adaptations of The Lodger, and the only one not to be actually titled The Lodger. (The most recent Lodger went straight to DVD just this year. Go know, huh?)
If your idea of a good horror movie includes lots of fog, ominous shadows, uniformed bobbies patroling damp cobblestone streets, and occasional musical interludes and "comic relief" (the latter mostly courtesy of Bavier) to lighten the mood, Man in the Attic is the movie for you. Me, I can definitely dig that kind of thing now and again, so this flick and I got along just fine. It reminded me of Abbott & Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, only minus Abbott, Costello, Jekyll, and Hyde. After my ordeal with Bell From Hell, it was a relief to watch a movie shot on a studio backlot with solid craftsmanship and professionalism. This means that the night scenes are just as crisp and clear as the daytime scenes, and I don't have to spend five minutes straining to look at indistinct grey blobs running around on the screen. The dialogue, of course, is pristinely recorded so that when the characters speak, you can both hear and understand what they are saying... and their lips match the words, too! You have no idea what watching dozens of badly-dubbed movies will do to you until you actually try it. (Not recommended.)
Man in the Attic is available for viewing online, and I recommend it... though I wouldn't let it keep you from doing the laundry or grocery shopping. Do your chores first, and Jack Palance will be there waiting for you when you are through. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 08:28:28
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I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see the name "Jack Palance" in the opening credits of a TV show or movie. We'll not see the likes of him again. Today, a casting director could easily ask for -- and get -- a "Ryan Reynolds type," but there is no such thing as a "Jack Palance type." Like Boris Karloff and John Carradine (both of whom we've already seen in this project), Palance was truly a one-of-a-kind, broke-the-mold guy, seeingly not quite human but carved out of stone by an artist with an eye for the bizarre. I can still remember tuning in every week to Ripley's Believe It Or Not as a kid and being both fascinated and frightened by this man.
With his craggy face and imposing build, Palance might've succeeded in the Silent Era, but that strange, sandpaper-y voice of his was another of his trademarks which proved crucial during his long career. Several years ago, I got a Golden Throats album called Sweethearts of Rodeo Drive, featuring country songs performed by celebrities. One of the most weirdly compelling tracks on that CD was Jack's eerily-committed rendition of "The Green, Green Grass of Home." Here's a clip of him singing that very song on The Porter Waggoner Show. Hope you enjoy it.
P.S. - Apparently, Palance's unique delivery got him some voiceover work. Whatever the assignment, he was clearly not a man to be trifled with.
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Larry 
"Larry's time / sat merrily"
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 15:53:00
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I remember seeing "Man in the Attic" at an Atlanta cinema when I was eleven years old, shortly before my family moved to Florida. I was mesmerized by it. It's one of the movies that turned me into an inveterate movie-goer, and into a big fan of Jack Palance.
In graduate school, some twenty years later, they had a retrospective of "scary" movies, and I was excited when I noticed that "Man in the Attic" was among them. I was a bit apprehensive before the film started; so many films I had liked as a youngster did not hold up in later viewings. I'm happy to report that "Man in the Attic" was every bit as good the second time. And the friends I encouraged to see the film with me liked it, too.
Thanks again, Joe, for this project. I'm enjoying re-visiting my youth through your reviews. |
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Joe Blevins
"Don't I look handsome?"
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Posted - 07/12/2009 : 18:27:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Larry
I remember seeing "Man in the Attic" at an Atlanta cinema when I was eleven years old, shortly before my family moved to Florida. I was mesmerized by it. It's one of the movies that turned me into an inveterate movie-goer, and into a big fan of Jack Palance. In graduate school, some twenty years later, they had a retrospective of "scary" movies, and I was excited when I noticed that "Man in the Attic" was among them. I was a bit apprehensive before the film started; so many films I had liked as a youngster did not hold up in later viewings. I'm happy to report that "Man in the Attic" was every bit as good the second time. And the friends I encouraged to see the film with me liked it, too. Thanks again, Joe, for this project. I'm enjoying re-visiting my youth through your reviews.
Glad to be of service. Man in the Attic does, in fact, hold up quite nicely. I have to say the reason is that it's just good, solid, technically-adroit filmmaking of the old school, with fine actors in both the lead and supporting roles. I knew I was in for a well-constructed film right from the opening credits. Heck, Lionel Newman even did the music! |
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My summer film project: 50 Chilling Classics
